The drinking game
by jo-tries-to-write
Summary: Dean decides that if he'll get Castiel drunk, then maybe he can confess how he feels without any consequences if Cas doesn't feel the same way. Set during late season 5. Destiel one shot.


**A/N: So. This is a little one shot that I got inspired to write by two of my friends, who had the idea for this(sort of) but not with Destiel. But they're glad that I wrote this fic anyway. I obviously do not own these characters. Now, read and enjoy^^**

* * *

It wasn't the most honest thing to do, Dean knew that. But he just couldn't find another way to do it. Not without exposing his feelings completely, and that wasn't in his nature, it never had been. Although, what he felt wasn't really like him either. He was not the guy who had relationships and feelings. He was supposed do flirt and have one night stands and to never think back at them again. That was how he saw himself and that was how others saw him. Mostly, that was how Sam saw him, and Sam's reaction to what he was about to do was one of the few that would actually matter.

He'd never look at himself the same way either. Of course, he hadn't done that for a long time. Not since he got back from Hell. Not since he summoned the one who had saved him and saw Castiel walk through those doors. He denied it for a while, repressed the feelings because he didn't want them. It was easier back then, when Castiel was on the angels' side, and followed their orders. Dean always felt a little tingle in his stomach every time he saw him, but it wasn't until they were in that room, and Castiel shoved him up against that wall and bled for him that Dean realized what he felt.

Of course Castiel had bled for him before, like that time when he saved him from Alastair. But that was against a demon. When it was against the angels he turned on his own family, and Dean knew that was so entirely different. So ever since the day Lucifer's cage opened, he'd known that he was in love with Castiel.

And now, it was the apocalypse all over the planet and Micheal wanted to borrow Dean's meat suit to beat down his little brother, who wanted to fight in the shape of Sam. They had no clue how they would avoid that for much longer, so what did he really have to lose? And Cas was human now. Completely human. At first, his angel powers had just grown weaker and weaker, but now he was just as miserable as the rest of their little group of people trying to save the world. A group that kept becoming smaller. But Dean loved him and wanted that to be a little light in the darkness that was surrounding him.

Now Dean, Sam and Cas were on their way to Bobby's, but they had stopped for the night and checked in on a motel.

"Who'll be sharing with Cas?" Sam had asked. There were no room with three queens.

"I can to it," Dean had said, a little to fast. "It's the end of the world, Sammy. You go and pick up a girl and have some fun for once." He hoped that would be enough explaining.

So now he was sitting on one of the beds in the room that was his and Cas' for the night. Sam had, on Dean's command, left to a local bar. Dean took a deep breath before he stood and got to his duffel bag, he had to do this and couldn't allow himself to feel guilty until it was over. He picked up two beers and went back to the bed. He gave one to Castiel, who was sitting on the other bed, looking down at the floor.

"Thank you," he said low and opened the beer.

Dean did the same with his. Cas had developed a taste for alcohol and Dean had noticed, that now when the former angel was fully human, his tolerance was pretty low. "How're you doin', really?" Dean asked.

Castiel looked up at him and those blue eyes he loved so much were sad. "How do you think?"

"I think that you miss it. Being an angel," Dean said and took a sip from his beer.

Cas did the same. "I do. I'm sure you would too, if you knew what it's like."

"Mhm," Dean agreed. He liked it now when Cas was human, because now they were equal - Hell, Dean was stronger - and he didn't feel the same distance as he had when Cas had had his brothers. But it pained him to see Castiel missing his wings and his power and he wished he could make him feel better.

It wasn't like him to talk about feelings or anything, and he always told Sam to let it go whenever he wanted to, but with Cas, he... He wanted to be there for him. "Uhm..." he started awkwardly and then cleared his throat. Castiel looked at him a bit anxiously. "You know that uh... That you can talk to me, right? If- If you need to."

Castiel looked a bit confused, but then he smiled. "Of course."

"Good," said Dean and drank again.

They did some small talking now and then, Dean fetched new beers and everything followed the plan. Soon he noticed that Cas was getting a little drunk, and had to remind himself that he had to _act_ drunk, not just watch his friend. This was the first time that he and Cas got drunk together, even if he wasn't really drunk himself. He'd met Cas drunk before, but that had been during pretty bad circumstances, and not like this; a nice time as friends.

"Why was it you?" Dean suddenly asked him. It was a question that he'd been thinking about for a long time, and now seemed like a time to ask it.

"What do you mean?" Castiel wondered and tilted his head. Oh, how Dean loved that head tilt. It was always a reminder of how oblivious and unfamiliar Castiel actually was with this world.

"You know, to save me. Why you, why... why not any of the other angels? Why not Uriel or Zacharia?" He made a questioning gesture with his arms in the air.

"I... don't know actually," Castiel replied to Dean's disappointment. His brow furrowed as he continued. "I was just a soldier at the time and wasn't supposed to question my orders. And I didn't. I'm glad I didn't." He looked up with a tiny smile on his lips.

Dean felt a tingle in his stomach and his heart beat a little faster. He had to fight to hold back his smile. "Yeah?"

"Of course." Castiel looked confused again. "Or else I might not have met you."

Now Dean couldn't keep his smile to himself and let it take over his face. Castiel was glad he'd met him. Even though it in the end had costed him everything. His family, his powers, his grace, his life. _Everything. _And he still didn't regret his rebellion.

"What, you're surprised to hear that?" Castiel asked. And Dean could swear he saw a hint of that sadness again.

"Why wouldn't I be? If you hadn't met me, you'd still be an angel."

"Maybe it was worth it."

Dean didn't know what to say. He felt honored in a way he'd never felt before. No one had ever really made any big sacrifices for him except his family. But maybe Cas was family. He decided to try to found out exactly how much he meant to Cas. With his drunk image he might get away with that. "If you could go back," he said. "what would you do? Would you still choose to save me and fall?"

Castiel was quiet for a while. "Let me get back to you on that," he muttered then.

Maybe Dean had to change tactics. He had to get Cas in a _happy _mood. "Okay," he said. "I understand if you would choose to still be an angel though."

Castiel didn't say anything. He just looked Dean in the eye and for once Dean couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

Dean shook his head. "Uhm... You want another beer? I'll get you one." He stood from the bed and went over to his duffel. He fetched one bottle for Cas, but none for himself, because his wasn't empty yet. And that was according to plan; not to get drunk himself. Not that he would get drunk after just a few beers, but still. He went back to the beds and handed the bottle to Castiel, who took it and quickly opened it.

A little while later Dean realized that he had managed the first half of his plan: to get Castiel drunk. The former angel kept talking about random things, everything from like why the apples were red to why God forced Lucifer out of heaven, and Dean acted the same, to make it look like he was drunk too. And then Dean decided to continue with the next part of the plan. He moved from his bed to sit beside Castiel. He knew that giving signals would be completely useless, since the angel wouldn't understand them. So he figured he better go straight on.

"Cas," he said, like he had something to tell him. Castiel turned his head to look at him and the dark brown, almost black, hair shone in the faint light of the lamp. Then Dean let his gaze fall to Castiel's lips. "Cas," he repeated. Then he leaned forward and kissed him.

It wasn't like any kiss Dean had ever had before. Because all Dean's previous kisses had been with women. Castiel's lips were soft and nice like anyone else's, but around them there was a thin stubble that felt rough against his own face. It was good. Different, but good.

He pulled back to wait for Cas' reaction. That, on the other hand, wasn't what he had expected. Maybe he'd thought that Castiel would ask him why, or wait for him to kiss him again. He had not expected him to practically attack him.

Castiel was kissing him with an almost desperate desire, and why wouldn't he? Castiel had never been with anyone before. But Hell did he know how to do it. Castiel placed his hand at the back of Dean's head, trying to press them as close as possible. His other hand was on Dean's knee and slightly mowing upwards now and then. Dean had been shocked at the sudden intensity Cas had shown, but he soon followed. He held Castiel's chin and even though Cas was so eager, Dean did not stop being gentle.

Then Cas pulled back, fear in his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he said and moved away from Dean.

That hurt like a knife. "Cas, what? No-"

"I'm sorry," he said again and then took the quickest escape there was; the bathroom door.

Dean flew up from the bed, but it was too late. The door was locked. He pounded on it with his fist. "Cas?" No response. "Come on, I _know_ you're in there. Just come back out and we can talk, okay? We can... We can pretend this never happened. Just... Come out here and we'll go to sleep." So that was it. Dean had planned it as an escape route for himself, that was why he had to pretend to be drunk, that if Castiel didn't want this, he could blame the alcohol and they could forget it. But that didn't mean he _wanted_ to take the escape. What he really wanted was for Cas to want to be with him too.

There was nothing but quietness from the bathroom, so Dean switched the light off, went to his bed and pulled off all of his clothes except for his t-shirt and boxer briefs and wrapped himself in the covers. About half an hour later the bathroom door opened. Dean pretended to be asleep as Castiel took his clothes off and lay down on the bed. Even when there was no light but the pale one from the moon, he could see that the former angel had been crying. He turned around in his bed to not have to see his sad face.

* * *

The next morning Dean woke up early, before Castiel, and he sat up in his bed, watched the angel - human, he was human now - sleep. He looked so peaceful. It didn't take long until he woke up. It pained the hunter to realize that when Castiel looked at him, there was shame in his eyes.

"Cas..."

"What?" he said, and the voice broke a little.

"Last night, I didn't mean to... We shouldn't have been drinking, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Castiel asked. "You did nothing wrong; you were drunk. You're only human."

"So are you!" Dean yelled.

"I wasn't always, you know that. I should know better than..."

"Than what?"

"Dean." Castiel looked him in the eye again. Oh, those blue eyes. "You're my best friend. And you're pretty much the only one I have these days. But I destroyed that last night."

"Cas, you didn't destroy anything." Dean shook his head and stood up from his bed.

"Then what did I do?"

What the Hell. There was nothing to lose anyway. The end of the world was coming and they had only months, or more like weeks, to live. "Maybe you... Maybe you gave something." He walked over to Castiel, still only wearing what he slept in, and then he, so slow that it was almost painful, leaned in and kissed him again. The kiss was short and sweet and the best of it all: Cas didn't back away.

"Really?" the dark haired man asked.

"Really." Dean kissed him again, and once more he got the respond that he'd been given the night before. Castiel kissed him as if he was what was keeping him alive and pulled him down to his lap. Dean brushed his fingers through that amazing bed hair and smiled in the kiss. Castiel kept dragging his hands up and down Dean's sides and then let them go down his thighs and up again. The skin-to-skin contact made Dean's stomach tingle.

For being inexperienced, Castiel was a damn good kisser. Maybe it was instincts from the body he wore. Dean trailed his kisses down the angel's neck and Cas leaned his head backwards. Cas still didn't own any other clothes than the ones Jimmy had been wearing when he took him as a vessel, and he'd refused to borrow anything from Dean or Sam. He didn't want to bother them with that, he'd said. So he'd only been sleeping in a pair of boxers, and Dean loved the feeling of the naked torso beneath his own. Apparently that wasn't enough for Castiel, because his hands went to Dean's hip bones and then started to tug at Dean's shirt. The hunter didn't need more encouraging than that, and he leaned back so that Cas could pull the shirt over his head.

Cas eyed his chest and in the back of his head, Dean wondered if he'd done so before. Dean's hands moved town to Castiel's belly and then kissed him again. He could feel Cas' erection and the angel blushed slightly and looked away. "You have freckles on your chest too," Cas said.

"Oh shut up." Dean put his fingers gently on Castiel's jaw and made him look him in the eye before he kissed him again. Then he leaned forward a bit more, so that Cas fell backwards down on the bed. Though he was only on top of him for about a second before Castiel flipped him over. "Dominant are we, huh?" Dean muttered.

Cas leaned down to kiss his neck. "I used to be an angel. More powerful than you'll ever be," he said between the kisses. Then his mouth moved south, and Dean moaned when he reached a nipple. Cas held his hands pinned town to the bed, and Dean knew that he should be cautious, because being trapped was never really a good sign, but he couldn't help that Cas taking control made him feel even more aroused. And besides, this was _Cas_ and he could trust him.

But still, Dean turned them over and he leaned in close, so that his lips brushed against Castiel's ear. "But I'm still more experienced," he whispered and his hand stroke Castiel once over the boxers. The former angel panted at the touch.

"Dean, please..." And Dean couldn't do more than obey. He was glad to, because he wanted it. He'd never though he'd actually want to be with a guy, but with Cas it was... different. So he pulled down the boxers down to Castiel's thighs, and then used his foot to get them all the way off. Castiel's erection sprung free and Dean let his hand play a bit with the other man's balls as he kissed him and swallowed the moans.

Then, to his surprise, Cas managed to turn them around again. And he barely had time to think as Cas pulled off his underwear too. Maybe being a virgin for billions of years made a person extra desperate. "I want you, Dean. I _want_ you," he said and his voice was dark and rough. "Can I have you?"

Something with the question, how innocent it still was, and how honest, made Dean overwhelmed. He couldn't speak. He just grabbed the back of Cas' neck and pulled him down for a kiss, much more hungry than before. Castiel took that as a yes. His hand trailed down, and slid over Dean's cock briefly before it continued to Dean's entrance. Dean didn't think that he'd be okay with this, and he had never seen himself as someone who would bottom, but once Cas' fingers were there, he knew that he wanted it. Castiel almost pushed a finger in before Dean stopped him. "Hey, hey," he said with a hand on Cas' wrist. "You can't just... We need stuff. Or else it wont work."

Castiel frowned at him before he understood. "Oh." Dean reached over the bed and found his duffel against the wall. He searched a few seconds before he found the little tube of lubricant. "Oh," Cas said again before he took it out if Dean's hand. He applied some in his hand and then reached down again, but first he looked at Dean for approval. Dean hissed a little when Cas' lubed finger was at his entrance again, now cold. But he nodded, and Castiel slowly started to push in, opening him up. It hurt more than Dean had thought it would, but he didn't show it, because there was a kind of pleasure in the pain as well.

A few minutes passed as Castiel's fingers was inside of him, making him ready, placing kisses on his lips now and then. Then Castiel did something with his fingers, and the world was on fire. Dean knew in that moment, that Cas was the thing that was keeping him alive. He gasped loudly and bucked his hips up. "Dean, are you okay?" Cas asked worried.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just... You... It felt very..." And Cas must have understood, because he moved his fingers the same way again, and Dean gasped once more. His cock throbbed and his mind was blank. A few seconds passed before he knew how to speak again. "Fuck, Cas, you gotta... I need you..."

It felt weird when Cas pulled his fingers out, but then the head of Cas' leaking cock was at his entrance and Dean held his breath. And then he moved forward. Slowly. Dean couldn't help but to rock his hips to meet him and he wrapped his legs around Castiel's waist. The man who used to be an angel hesitated, and then he pulled back a bit, only to slam in harder than before. Dean's hands was on his own cock, stroking it, using the pre-cum as lube.

After that Castiel started to move _for real._

It still burned, but it was worth it. For being a virgin, Cas really knew what he was doing. He pulled out and slammed in, angling his hips a bit different every time, trying to bring back Dean's reaction from before. And then there it was. The white hot bliss as Castiel hit Dean's prostate. It was one of the best things Dean had ever felt in his whole life. His hand moved automatically over his own member, and the other one was pushing Cas down. He was close, and didn't even care to be embarrassed over getting there so fast.

After all, this was Castiel's first time, and Dean had to give it to him; he'd last longer than he'd expected, but then Castiel cried out as he came and sent his load into Dean. And Dean wasn't far behind. Together they rode through their orgasms, and Dean clenched his ass around Cas' cock. His own chest was sticky from his own come, but he didn't care.

Soon, Dean loosened his legs from around Cas, who pulled out and collapsed beside him. They were both breathing heavily, and Dean could feel himself drift away.

"Thank you," he heard Castiel say. And he knew that his plan from last night hadn't been very bad in the end.


End file.
